February 2010
9 posts
i don't wanna know that you know it should've been...
lookslikewemadeit:
truthbittertruth:
danielle said to me today something like “seriously, will you and joe stop fannying around and finally properly get together?! you both need to face it” i was like dude..you can’t say that :/
ut-oh.
i know, right. she then corrected herself like “i mean, like if you weren’t with tom. its just, some things make it so obvious that you’re meant to be”...
danielle said to me today something like “seriously, will you and joe stop fannying around and finally properly get together?! you both need to face it” i was like dude..you can’t say that :/
I had a dream last night, where I woke up too late. And everything I loved, I began to hate. I know I sound repetitive, cause I’m repeating myself, And I’m competitive, I want you all by yourself. And that alone is just the problem, I’ve got these woes, and I just can’t solve them.
If I could gather up the nerve, I’d put my feelings into words, And if I...
i feel bad, because i feel nothing. i don’t like it when you text me. i feel cold and sick. all the time. love will tear us apart.
“You weren’t wrong, Tom. You were just wrong about me.”
– (500) Days of Summer.
Joe Booth says: basically i wouldnt mind somebody but all the people close to me at the moment arent the people i want and in the words of michael buble i just havent met them yet
what even is this?! we don’t talk like this! it’s weird.
with the amount of stuff i have to do im behind on work because i dont have the time i sleep pitiful amounts because i dont have the time i rarely eat because i dont have the time when i do eat, i generally don’t hold it down. you nag and nag at me but i dont have the time to do what you’re demanding of me. so when dad yells down the phone that i’ve not rung him, it’s my...
January 2010
22 posts
bloody hell. i just can’t help myself. we’re back to normal now. we’ve been lovelylovely all night. then i just thought i bet i met her at that rock night. NO! leave my minds, stupid thoughts. i’m determined not to ruin this.
i’m sorry i’m such a fuck up. i’m sorry i’m a crap best friend, always whining to you. i know it’s not fair. i’m sorry i’m a crap girlfriend, and that i’ll never be exactly what you want. i’m sorry i don’t believe you because of the past.
:'|
[c=#0F0F0F][c=0]. [/c][i]Sophie. [/i][/c] says:
I think you think he must love someone else or whatever because you don’t value yourself enough or whatever
tom absolutely ADORES you
you can tell by the way he even looks at you
he values you so much and you should value yourself alot more and not keep putting yourself down
you’re the most amazing friend possible in the entire...
we had a sunday like that. and now i’m going to have a week full of doubts until i see you again. i can’t do this again :/
him: so beth got annoyed at me, and went out with someone else. so i got together with mel. me: woah. she’s your joe. i thought it before. but yeah, she’d definitely to you like joe is to me. him: yeah. i guess she is. me: and that’s what scares me if i’m honest. him: *silence*
and it wasn’t a good silence :/
we went through pretty much everything. well, every person. i went from mark to jack to joe to ash to joe. he told me all those girls, and it made everything clearer. i don’t know if it helps me though.
. Sophie. says: i can understand how you feel sort of like neglect from tom which is pushing you towards joe sort of?
yes. thats EXACTLY it.
if it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad. if it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad?
:/
and i know i said i needed some time alone, and i know i never seemed to pick up the phone. although you’ll see me with someone else, you were always the one.. shouldn’t really be admitting this.
shaking.like.fuck.
i shouldn’t go on her facebook. i should trust him. but i can’t, and it makes me feel sick. really really sick.
“The worst way to miss someone, is to have them sitting right next to you & you know you can never have them.” did not need to see that. especially on her profile. hate being so threatened by her.
fuck being so vulnerable tonight. i’m going to bed.
looking at pictures of rhiannon from that time period gives me a stabbing feeling in my stomach and brings all the pain back. tonight is not good.
i feel so very lonely tonight. leigh’s sleeping, sophie’s with steve, tasha with james. tom’s drunk. probably with that beth person. dan’s at a party with rhianne. ben’s always AWOL at the weekends. i never know where alice is anymore. i miss friday nights with jonathan and joseph.
i can’t get over how much i miss them two.
Whenever I’m alone with you You make me feel like I am home again Whenever I’m alone with you You make me feel like I am whole again Whenever I’m alone with you You make me feel like I am young again Whenever I’m alone with you You make me feel like I am fun again However far away I will always love you However long I stay I will always love you Whatever words I...
did i say that i loathe you? did i say i wanted to, leave it all behind? i can’t take my mind off of you.. after all this recent talk, i really can’t. i miss you.
i haven’t told you i love you today. i don’t think i can bring myself to. and that makes me want to cry. infact, it makes me cry.
i can’t find the words anymore. there’s so much i want to write. but i’m scared that if i actually acknowledge that i don’t feel the same anymore, i won’t be able to get it out my head. i do think we’ll be fine after tomorrow. but for tonight, its killing me.
i feel sick. don’t make me feel bad about it. i can’t help how i feel and i don’t know if i can do it anymore. don’t try and make out i don’t care. that’s just harsh. i wouldn’t be sat here in tears otherwise.
he nearly slept with paige.
lookslikewemadeit:
less than a week after we broke up.
?!?!?!!?!?!?!?! what the fuck’s his problem! i’m here for you if you need me baby :]
December 2009
30 posts
i can smell you on my sheets. and even though i miss you despite you leaving only four hours ago im going to be going to sleep very happy. i love you.
as leigh said, its never nice to be told someone...
or that they never did.
ashley says: she was worth it, you dont understand, i actually loved someone i’d be lying if i said he meant nothing to me. but in the grand scale, he didn’t mean alot. it just bothers each time i get reminded that he lied to me. about everything.
i meant every word i said, i never was lying when we talked in bed..
and i still miss you, but i keep that to myself.
you're pretty much sickening me right now.
lookslikewemadeit:
truthbittertruth:
i mean, its okay when me and you do it. its funny, its a laugh. we both have a significant other but there is some kind of innuendo thing we share. but with her, its just odd. she’s your exe. and you’re both taking it way too seriously. probably jerking off to it n’all. pretty nasty.
eww eww eww is this what i think it is D:
yeah. ‘tis :|
okay, thats affected me more than i thought it would. i don’t get why i’m bothered.
you're pretty much sickening me right now.
i mean, its okay when me and you do it. its funny, its a laugh. we both have a significant other but there is some kind of innuendo thing we share. but with her, its just odd. she’s your exe. and you’re both taking it way too seriously. probably jerking off to it n’all. pretty nasty.
'life's crap liss. but you've got to toe the...
thanks mum. thanks a lot. i’m allowed to be upset i think. my dads in hospital, as much as i hate my sister, i didn’t exactly enjoy sitting listening to everything she hates about me. and i don’t need you telling me life’s crap. i’ve realised that. and you’ve never helped me with it.
if life’s so crap then why did you bother passing it onto me?
merry fucking christmas.
i hate this family. brione should take a typical day living here and then she wouldn’t bloody half think about overdosing. the only thing keeping me here right now is the fact that mum can’t cope with any more stress right now.
but if she thinks being civil with my sister is going to work, she has another thing coming. beth makes herself to be a saint to mum. but she treats me like...
why the hell has she tried adding me on facebook yet afuckinggain! she just can’t be content with the fact she ruined my day yesterday. and now tom is saying he doesn’t know what im talking about.
times like this i feel like putting something to spite him. i’m such a horrible girlfriend.
going to the hospital. text me please leigh <3
oh, would you look at that. its like it was a year and a half ago.
god, crazy stalker psycho bitch. you have not helped my mood.
i don’t think he wants to see me. i really don’t. he’d probably want to see jasmine a million times over.
hospitals suck. i feel worse. im not coping. that’s all.
i’ve given in with the stubborn awkwardness and i’m talking to her. purely because i can’t bear to see there’s something up with her and not do anything about it. she is my best friend after all.
aha, well.
lookslikewemadeit:
truthbittertruth:
lookslikewemadeit:
how odd.
did you tell anyone?
i did not. kept it to myself. until now ;)
well then! how did it arise just now?
was talking with tom about something i’ve never told anyone else so i was like “i think ive told leigh everything” then thought of that and wondered if you knew..
aha, well.
lookslikewemadeit:
how odd.
did you tell anyone?
i did not. kept it to myself. until now ;)
leigh,
ah..well i did. it was a bit after i’d stopped talking to/falling out with joe. and he’d split up with olivia. that week where we spoke loads, more than we did when we went out. we ended up really close. and i think i needed a way to get over joe. but then he asked me out again, and i had to say no cause i care too much about what people would’ve thought. so he went weird with me...